Gosh! It's middle of March of 2011 ody!!!

Cepatnya masa berlalu. Since last year banyak benda jugak berlaku. Where to start ar...ermm...okay, as usual, with Darlene.

I sent her to 'Kampong' for two week end of last year. So missing her masa Christmas and New Year. It almost killing me. kind of worried about her, but as usual, very fast to adapt herself with new environment. Of course she happy over there. Semua orang pun ada nak melayan dia. Better than here cuma ada I dengan dia only.

As the calendar turn to 2011, can't wait for her to come back, because I did some decoration to our house and there a lot of gifts for her (Birthday, Christmas and New Year gifts). Once she enter the house she so excited with everthing. Of course she the most happier person that time. So, for December and January is all about Darlene. She super duper happy during that time.

On February things back to normal. Hantar Darlene pegi sekolah early in the morning. Her school opened at 7.30am, I will trap in the jam, sampai opis lambat most of the time. Thinking of pindah sekolah, tapi that the only closest nursery dengan rumah. Beside that the father every week, at least once tak boleh ambik dia. So I have to rush from office, sometime even before 5.30pm dah keluar, just because the teacher complaning kalau ambik dia lambat. Grr...rasa seksa sangat!

In the office busy mengalahkan Perdana Menteri the whole day. If last time, am the admin, the secretary, the coordinator, the despatch girl....tahun ni dah bertambah peranan as a 'counselor'. Tempat orang meluah perasaan. People come and go to my place sometime just to meluah perasaan. Sabao jer la aku. But, I couldn't help myself, jadi kepohcee...jugak hehehe...I don't mind most of the time, tapi bila aku tersangat la busy and masih lagi bertenggek kat tepi meja aku, mula la aku menyumpah seranah dalam hati.

End of February, hari yang ditunggu tunggu adalah hari gaji because we all akan dapat increment. Usually every year we will get about 4% depend on our performance. Bila aku check salary on Saturday morning, terkezut beruk, banyak sikit dari sangkaan, I mean banyak actually. Mula fikir yang bukan bukan, maybe HR termasuk salah amount kut...so tak berani nak withdraw banyak that morning.

Monday, when coming back to office, increment is the hottest topic of the day. I found out my salary increase to almost 15%. No wonder la...so no mistake la tu. All this while aku carik kerja lain yang sama amount dengan increment aku sekarang. Bila dah dapat, i think better I forget about it. Look for other alternative for Darlene's nursery! :-p. On the same day I found out that everyone in my department thinks that my salary much more higher than them all. My current salary suppose to be a senior executive or asst. manager at least. Owhh...no wonder everything also they put in my bucket! All this while am being bullied because of it! I told my friend about it, she ask me to be patience and just hang in there...at least for time being, till things get better. I took her advice.

Come to March, recently, punctuality become our number one issue. As mentioned before, most of the time, aku memang datang lambat ke opis because kena hantar Darlene ke sekolah dulu, which is open at 7.30 only. My Sr. Manager tak puas hati. Well, I told her, I have no choice and some more I finish my work the whole time before going back, promise it won't effect anybody work. But, recently our GM, which is our Boss also, standing in front of the door every morning just to 'spot check' sapa yang datang lambat and of course kena 'tiaw' pagi pagi buta depan muka pintu and depan muka muka manusia yang lain. Aku tak pernah kena, because aku yang paling lambat, dia dah masuk opis baru aku masuk. Kira lucky la tu (temporarily). So, my Sr.Manager take the oppurtunity untuk menakutkan aku lagi. So, apa lagi la aku....jumping around...look for other nursery, tak ada yang dekat. Ada yang dekat but too expensive, carik nanny pun tak ada yang willing. Carik rumah baru, all yang aku nak mencekik darah. So call my Mom, she told me my brother and his family will come over, but not now, maybe next month or so. I don't know why, but macam tak percaya jer dia nak angkut semua family dia tetiba datang sini. Ermmm just wait and see lar..

Coincidently, few weeks earlier my ex, keep on telling me about his current house. Dia ada problem kat rumah dia sekarang. Desperately, told him that he can move in, but he have to become like a 'housewife'. Kena hantar Darlene sekolah and fetch. Bunyi macam ambik kesempatan and selfish pun ada, but biasa la aku bila dah panic. He said he will think about it. Few days later, bila dah boleh fikir straight, I feel relieve.

But, things take turn balik, bila tetiba one day dia kata nak pindah masuk. I can't say no, since aku dah cadangkan kat dia earlier. Dengan mata terbeliak, i just diam jer la. The next day, he still have to come to my house because Darlene not feeling well. He have to take care of her while am gone to work. That very night he start moving his thing to my house. Sitting alone the next day, I said to myself...."oooooo my, what have I done? am I in trouble again?"

well, done is done...bagus jugak la. i don't have to look for nanny or house or nursery anymore. I will save alot. So, to make sure he knows my intention and our border, I prepare an agreement between us, at least he knows I still want a divorce and we still in the 'seperation' mode.

So there he his, feels like coming back to the old life. He sleeping on the sofa downstair. Me and Darlene upstair in the bedroom. Whatever...we've been staying together for years before, just like this, we can do it again as long there no physical contact, which I think won't be happen. Never.